Lately my jam is all things Polyvagal Theory. It just clicks for me and seems to fit everything, but you’re most likely thinking “poly-what”?! A lot of folks tend to know about fight and flight. This theory from Dr. Stephen Porges takes it to the next level (in a minute you’ll see my ladder pun here).
As humans in our most open state where our prefrontal cortex is engaged and we’re able to interact with others, we are at the top of the ladder in Social Engagement. Think of this as being grounded, in the moment, and ready to make connections with others.
Now say your nervous system senses danger - your body then moves down one step of the ladder into Flight because it reads that safety is in the direction of moving away from the current situation. There is anxiety, worry, and maybe fear. But then you are unable to flee, so the next step down the ladder would be to Fight as your nervous system is doing what it can to preserve you. It didn’t work to leave the danger, so now let’s try to fight it off. If that isn’t effective, at the very bottom of the ladder is Freeze and this could include feelings of shame, depression or at its most extreme numbness to dissociation.
The million dollar idea here is that we have evolved from the most basic of beings into a highly complex society. These reactions were built into us as a mechanism of survival, but unfortunately we aren’t given a manual and our bodies can get a little confused that something like a social situation causing us so much anxiety in the moment isn’t actually a huge bear in the wild.
If these ideas interest you, I would highly recommend Justin Sunseri’s podcast Stuck Not Broken. It’s super digestible information, make sure to start with the intros with the earliest episodes! You can find this here or most any podcast app: